Hello,
I have woken up this morning feeling ashamed! Last night I went out with friends birthday and ended up in a nightclub in the next town to where i live.
At the time i felt quite old and uncomfortable in there as i am 30 married, with 2 kids and most of the people in there looked early 20's.
As the night went on and the drinks began to flow, i got more confident and started dancing on the dance floor to some cheesy dance music, when a girl caught my eye from the other side of the dance floor. She looked back and we had a slight stare. This made me feel great, as my confidence has been low, works been rubbish, drinking too much in the week, been gaining a lot of weight since losing alot over last summer and not 100% happy in my relationship.
I thought that was it, but then she proceeded to dance my way across the dance floor until she was practically in front of me! i just kept smiling and she smiled back. I then started thinking about my wife and 2 young kids and made a bolt for the toliet! at the time she must of thought i was mad!
When i came back, after toilet and getting another beer, she was still there and i thought id better explain myself, and said can we talk. she replied, sorry no i am with a friend and they both walked off.
at that point i felt bad, that i messed a nice person around and i was normally not that sort of person. abit later i saw her friend, and spoke to her and said is your friend ok, sorry if i messed her around, has she gone home??
her friend then said no, and then pointed at her the other side of the night club chatting with another bloke! i felt silly to think that she had gone home cos of me! so i told her friend about me running off because i am shy and not very confident etc, and sorry to mess her around!
i thought that was the end of it, and then later on this girl found me and wanted to talk to me..so we went off and she was being so nice to me, and said she really like me. i told her that i was in the middle of a break up with my girl friend and that not sure what i wanted to do. hence my running off. we left it at that. i thought that was it.
then again she found me we went off and this time i told her i was married, had 2 kids and in middle of divorce but want to give it ago with my wife. she was still really nice to me, saying she wanted to kiss me etc, but i said we couldn't
she then told me some thing.. she was engaged! and showed me her ring! she had been with this guy for 3 years, engaged for 3 months.
in our talk, we did not kiss full on, just a goodbye peck on the cheek and lips.
we basically left it, if it was another situation we could of gone out for dinner, and see what happened.
its hard for me, as i have been with my wife for 12 years married for 7 and never had someone like me like this since my wife. i think the thing that shocked me was someone was saying really complimentary things and i didnt deal with it properly.
a couple of my friend saw me talking to this girl and i said she was a friend from when i went to college. i am not sure they believed me, but insisted it was.
i have woke up this morning feeling terrible, guilty and a fool. Even though nothing really happened, i am shocked i got myslef in the situation it could!
i am worried she willl find me on facebook, or someone knows her. but at the same time i dont want to tell my wife and ruin things at home. also i want to try and make things work at home.
i really do not know what to do..
thanks for taking the time to read this and appreciate any advice.
I have woken up this morning feeling ashamed! Last night I went out with friends birthday and ended up in a nightclub in the next town to where i live.
At the time i felt quite old and uncomfortable in there as i am 30 married, with 2 kids and most of the people in there looked early 20's.
As the night went on and the drinks began to flow, i got more confident and started dancing on the dance floor to some cheesy dance music, when a girl caught my eye from the other side of the dance floor. She looked back and we had a slight stare. This made me feel great, as my confidence has been low, works been rubbish, drinking too much in the week, been gaining a lot of weight since losing alot over last summer and not 100% happy in my relationship.
I thought that was it, but then she proceeded to dance my way across the dance floor until she was practically in front of me! i just kept smiling and she smiled back. I then started thinking about my wife and 2 young kids and made a bolt for the toliet! at the time she must of thought i was mad!
When i came back, after toilet and getting another beer, she was still there and i thought id better explain myself, and said can we talk. she replied, sorry no i am with a friend and they both walked off.
at that point i felt bad, that i messed a nice person around and i was normally not that sort of person. abit later i saw her friend, and spoke to her and said is your friend ok, sorry if i messed her around, has she gone home??
her friend then said no, and then pointed at her the other side of the night club chatting with another bloke! i felt silly to think that she had gone home cos of me! so i told her friend about me running off because i am shy and not very confident etc, and sorry to mess her around!
i thought that was the end of it, and then later on this girl found me and wanted to talk to me..so we went off and she was being so nice to me, and said she really like me. i told her that i was in the middle of a break up with my girl friend and that not sure what i wanted to do. hence my running off. we left it at that. i thought that was it.
then again she found me we went off and this time i told her i was married, had 2 kids and in middle of divorce but want to give it ago with my wife. she was still really nice to me, saying she wanted to kiss me etc, but i said we couldn't
she then told me some thing.. she was engaged! and showed me her ring! she had been with this guy for 3 years, engaged for 3 months.
in our talk, we did not kiss full on, just a goodbye peck on the cheek and lips.
we basically left it, if it was another situation we could of gone out for dinner, and see what happened.
its hard for me, as i have been with my wife for 12 years married for 7 and never had someone like me like this since my wife. i think the thing that shocked me was someone was saying really complimentary things and i didnt deal with it properly.
a couple of my friend saw me talking to this girl and i said she was a friend from when i went to college. i am not sure they believed me, but insisted it was.
i have woke up this morning feeling terrible, guilty and a fool. Even though nothing really happened, i am shocked i got myslef in the situation it could!
i am worried she willl find me on facebook, or someone knows her. but at the same time i dont want to tell my wife and ruin things at home. also i want to try and make things work at home.
i really do not know what to do..
thanks for taking the time to read this and appreciate any advice.