My boyfriend didn't tell me he chatted with my boss...I should say something?

[no name]

My boss told me this weekend that my boyfriend (who made friends with her on FaceBoook - he is close to all my co-workers) chatted with her on FB IM. It wasn't anything inappropriate - she's like a mother to both of us and he's been close with her for over 4 years.
She just told me this morning, buthe never said a word to me that he casually spoke to her online. I know it's not a big deal, but now it gets me thinking..gee, what ELSE isn't he telling me that he probably did that's "not a big deal".
Should I say something to him today or let it go and realize that I'm in a relationship where my partner isn't honest with me about everything?

 

[IDNSFG818]

You will drive him away. you do not own another human being. he does not have to tell you every person he speaks to or emails. You are insecure and jealous and it if you continue with such behavior you will find yourself looking for a new boyfriend. I have been married for years and I do not expect my Husband to tell me everyone he speaks to and I do not tell him. It is part of being an individual person . Trying to control someones every deed is a bad idea.

 

[chipper35_1999]

Hmmmm, one of the most interesting questions I've seen here in a while.....I don't know you, I don't know him and I don't know your boss, but you did mention that your boss is a bit of a "mother to both of" you...again, the information here is scant but inasmuch as I can tell, I probably wouldn't get twisted around about it.
Now (and I don't mean to insult you, I really don't) since you've posted the question, I can probably surmise that you've already gotten a bit twisted around.
Here's an idea: you might say to your boyfriend, "Um, I find it a teeny bit odd that you'd chat with [my boss] online and wouldn't mention it to me. Can you see how I might find that odd?" ....watch his reaction...he might get a little hostile (I wouldn't automatically get upset if he does, I'm just saying that he might)...and allow him to explain. It might be, "Well, gee she's a cool lady and I like chatting with her. She's very encouraging." ....don't be too quick to accuse him of something that might be perfectly about nothing at all.
Good luck and be patient with him and yourself.....you're young. It's OK to not have all the answers.

 

[very_bored]

I think you need to chill out on this one. Do you expect him to carry a notebook around with him all day and write down every little thing he does so that he can report it back to you? Typically you only hear about the most exciting/interesting thing that happens in a day, not a random quick IM conversation with a long time friend.

 

[KainPhoenix]

Should he tell you every little thing that he does? By your own admission, she is like a mother to him and has been close to her for years, so why do you think he should have to tell you?

Does he have to inform you when he talks to any of his other friends? Do you inform him when you IM your friends?

 

[Spindrift]

They know each other, don't be paranoid, not everything is about you.

 

[geegee]

How was he dishonest? That he didn't share an innocent chat with someone who is a friend to you both? I really don't see the need for divulging everything in life, and in fact it sounds really tedious. You are not his mother, he's not a child, nor are you his siamese twin. I'd say leave it be.

 

[bobthebulider]

you are blowing this way out of proportion if she is his friend he should not have to tell you what they talk about

 

[Aporia]

Because nothing happened and it's not important. To assume that he's suddenly concealing some major secret because of this is to basically say that you don't trust him, which, if he's got a good clean track record, is not fair of you.

Their conversation wasn't a big deal, and she let you know. If it were a secret, she wouldn't have said anything. If you distrust him that much, then I'd suggest dumping him and getting a boyfriend that wont' cause such paranoia and speculation.

 

[Jm e]

I agree with Bob. You are blowing this out of proportion. Do you have daily meeting with your boyfriend to discuss his IM's or other conversations with his friends? And I don't know how you could think he was being dishonest! I think you are being very immature about this.

 

[Ash]

If it was just a friendly hi how are you chat, then I don't see any reason for him to go into detail what they talked about. I am sure there are things you don't tell your bf.

Maybehe should've mentioned it in passing that he chatted with your boss to you, but other than that, I don't think it's that big of a deal.