single mums, how do you feel about dating and introducing a man to your children?

[Lady]

I have a 8 month old baby and was just wondering what people thought, Im not yet in a position to go out and meet anyone, because im not ready to leave my baby for the night.
I wouldnt have different men around my kids so just wondering how other single mums meet new partners?

 

[life♥]

It'll take me a while to adjust to that if i were a single parent. Well technically im single because were not married but we're together. You get it.

 

[Lisa G]

It is hard because you care for your children yet as woman we are also wanting a bit of our own lives. I have 3 children who are the world to me and I did meet someone after being seperated from there dad for 2 years. It was difficult because it was also hard for them as they seen it as taking there Mummy away and that is even before I introduced him to them (we had been together for a year before I introduced them) yet there was a part of me that felt like I was leading a double life also because I am a proud Mum yet for me I needed to make sure I could trust him as this was a life changing event for the children and I never wanted to remembered as they get older as mum having a different man.

He did meet the children and we lasted a further 8 months, truth was......he never knew me as a Mother, he was aware I was a Mum but to be part of it was to much for him, so he was not the right one and I felt ashamed and annoyed at myself for introducing the children to him.

Just because your a single mum like me, it is good to have an odd girly night out, it is great to catch up with friends and if you ever meet anyone then just see how it goes.

As for me once bitten, twice shy.....I have chosen to remain a dedicated Mum and concentrate on them growing up before I even think of ever trying to settle again. I am sure many woman may have had a positive outcome.

 

[Leah]

my mum baby sat my daughter so i could have 1 day a week on my own and i went clubbin with my friends and i met someone in a club and we stareted meeting up more often so i could get to know him and then 6 months into the relationship i introduced him to my daughter and my family.

 

[pdooma]

Well, I'm a single father with 100% responsibility for my son, so also I have the issue of dating and introducing women to my son.

I have a rule. I don't bring women home. Period. It's not fair for me to bring home a parade of women for my child to get attached to only for me to rip them away from him over and over and over.

However, I do meet women everywhere. In the library. At the park. At the local coffee shop. Please don't be afraid to approach a man you might be interested in - it's a real thrill to be asked out by a woman! I love the "coffee date" myself. If my son has a play group, I can meet someone for a short coffee and decide whether or not this person is worth spending more time and energy on. Sure, I've had my share of easy sex, but not what I'm a dad I'm far more particular about who I want to spend my time away from my kid with. If we do decide to go out, I'll have a sitter/nanny watch my son and we can go out. But we can go to her house if we both want something more recreational - or a hotel - but I'm not bringing her home. Not until I know she's someone I want to have around my son, and that she's someone who won't be in and out of his life. And remember, if you're not ready to leave your kid overnight, you're not ready. Most people would understand that and if they don't they're not someone you want to be dating anyway.