What belongs in BDSM?

[?Socially Awkward?]

WAIT FOR THE POLL

Personally I doint care much where things are posted, except when it comes to BDSM.

Totally respectfully of whatever between consenting adults, but I rarely EVER :beurk:go to BDSM, cuz its mostly stuff I dont WANT to read. (Hey y'all who get tense about some folks posts-NOTE)

NOT a perfectly comprehensive poll, it IS confidential, you can use MULTIPLE votes.

 

[Ywuhapive]

I stay away and not interested at all about it.

 

[Gustavo]

..just so those who want it, know where to go:whip:, and the rest easily avoid.

 

[Eternity]

What's Egyptian and Oedipus?

 

[Pompal 09.]

What is Necro ?

 

[sheri]

Wow, talk about the extreme ends of a spectrum! I guess all those, except maybe necrophelia, could belong in the BDSM category, but that's such an extreme view of the whole thing. It matters more HOW the act is done than the act itself...

BDSM is bondage, domination, and sado-masochism, so any practices that involve restraint, one partner having more power than the other (even temporarily), and any kind of pain (even mild) fall into that category. I'd be willing to bet you're into it to some degree Bear, you just don't know it.

Ever wanted a woman to jump your bones or take control during intercourse? That'd be BDSM.
Ever made out with a partner pinned against the wall? BDSM.
Hard pounding sex? BDSM.
Forced DT, or even DT in general? (ahem BT123, that's totally a dominating act) Hair-pulling? DATY with her hands on the back of your head, or pinning you between her thighs? Dirty talk? Still BDSM.
Its pretty difficult to have any variety in your sex life without some give and take in the power department.

BDSM is immediately associated with leather and heels and pain and deviance, but that's very small, infamous grouping of subsets in a massive category of sex. Its very rare (virtually impossible) to be a sexually active adult and to fit only at the polar end of the BDSM scale (either fully kinky or not at all). This rigid categorization scares me: it creates an us vs. them mentality that definitely prohibits sexual exploration, and by extension, pleasure.

 

[i love Ginger]

http://www.google.ca/images?q=Pics+...esult_group&ct=title&resnum=4&ved=0CDgQsAQwAw


How did those strange heads get on those human bodies?:twisted:

Oedipus loved his mommy.:shock:

 

[Koeta]

::

 

[Pompal 09.]

Where would you put necro?, Sure I do, and am! You dont know how I voted!

:love: :great: Always, but you havent convinced me it is automatically BDSM :beurk: Only when asked! Huh? thats just cuddles! That would depend on what talk y're talking!

Hell no, lots of variety in the poll, and its just a suggestion about WHERE things get sorted for reading, not about sticking people boxes.

(Love your pics:angel

 

[Metalhead]

+1 on what Becky said.

Basically, what constitutes BDSM in the context of our little scene is paid-for services involving power exchange and fetishes. Not sure how necrophilia came into the list, as the fetish/BDSM world makes sure everything is Safe, Sane, and Consensual.

What Bear called Egyptian, I understood as the act of mummification, but as he clarified (so to speak), I think he's either talking about a modified version of furry-play or zoophilia. The latter is a non-consensual form of sex and quite illegal in most countries, not to mention arguably unethical.

The Oedipus/Electra thing is called either incest or Daddy/babygirl (Mommy/son) roleplay. It's a form of domination and submission revolving around the fetishization of the nurturing instinct, and is more common than most would like to admit. Check out literotica's incest/taboo section and how huge it is. People get off on writing it, people get off on reading it. People get off on roleplaying it.

So some people have the urge to pee or get peed on. Others get turned on by flogging or by the sting of the whip as it kisses your flesh. Still others want to be stepped on with a booted foot or get excited at sucking on an 6 inch stiletto. They don't have access to willing partners in their ordinary lives (kinda like the the wife who won't blow you or take it up the pooper), so they go to a pro and want to share with others on who to see . Isn't this what our community is all about?

 

[~SuperGirl.(:]

For SURE I am not being judgemental ( consenting adults etc) and I will even play
:666: advocate for things BEYOND my own sphere of interest.

Necro:beurk:- The right to role play fantasize?

Egyptian- (Thanks for the mummy link) but I was referring to beastiality. Not my craving BUT if there is NO issue of animal:grrrrrr: cruelty, who cares? Prosecuting a male human for fucking a horse (South Carolina) is utterly silly. I knew a gorgeous gal once who trained her little dog for DATY. Pup seemed utterly happy.

 

[aronbayarea]

I've never heard of it being referred to as Egyptian before. I'm kind of on the fence about the whole zoophilia thing. It's not something I'd engage in, and we train animals for other purposes (porpoises? ), so why not this one? That's the argument many proponents espouse, but it just doesn't sit well with me. Maybe it's a limit I'm not willing to cross. Some would call my using a flogger or strap on my gf immoral, too, I guess.

As for your friend, are you sure it wasn't just a case of puppy love? :go:

 

[ElleZ]

Term goes back to the dark ages of swinging (I have not seen it since, but I am not into that scene)

Folks bought a magazine, checked out the ads and pics, then wrote to a PO box.

Ad might say

"Bubba & Sookie here! We are 68/22, 5'2"/ 5" 140 lbs/180lbs, D&D free, he snipped UB2.
Into B&D, group play and Egyptian with our sweet dane Dickzilla."

 

[Pompal 09.]

I was completely against "Egyptian" as you're calling it, until I saw this clip. I think I'm still against it, but how interesting to hear someone else's perspective:
[video=youtube;b3aRebr75fg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3aRebr75fg[/video]

 

[Peter L]

Necrophilia? Fetish, but not necessarily BDSM... until the particularly kink was not simply that you were having sex with a body, but that the body couldn't fight back. That might be argued to fit into D/s powerplay, kinda.

For the record, I was thinking:
Showers - can be but not necessarily. If it's an ownership or humiliation thing yes, if it's simply an eroticism of the shower's contents then no.

Egyptian - can be but not necessarily. If it's a humiliation thing yes, if it's simply a fetish with no power play then no.

Spanking/Hands tied/Verbal humiliation - yes BDSM, by the very nature of the acts.

Oedipal/Electra - almost always, by the very nature of the acts.

Fetish - can be, can not be, the same fetish can be both, etc. It's way too broad a statement to cover.



I just realized that there's a good chance you're asking to correctly categorize things on massageplanet, in which case I'd say anything that involved a fetish as the primary focus of the session or a power play as intrinsic to the interaction belongs in the poorly-labeled BDSM section.




By virtue of pinning someone against a wall, that's restraint - a form of bondage.






Yeah, I understand that - I was just saying so many of those options are or are not BDSM depending on how they're done (see breakdown above) and it's really tough to say something does or doesn't belong. It's more of a scale...

And I don't like that there's a separate BDSM category for some of this stuff, because everyone has a kink to some degree. Clearly labeled review titles would protect the easily offended and avoid the polarity between kinky and vanilla.