Would it be cheating, if my wife is chatting with someone from work all the time?

[Erik L]

We have been married 15 years with 3 kids. A few weeks ago, we had a party for my wife's b-day. After a few drinks she really wanted a guy from her work to come. A few days later she started to text a lot more and chats online. It was not with her girlfriend that it normally is, it was a guy from work. Then she seemed to me that she was hiding the chatting (she says no). The less we would talk the more I thought that something was going on. So I thought that I should check the emails. It showed that they would email and chat every day for a long time. Also that he has said that she looked pretty and ask if what he had asked was too personal. She tells me, that she just wants someone to talk to and he is just a friend. Do I have anything to worry about? Then I told her that I see that she is emailing him a lot and then she stated to delete all email in the sent and inbox for and from him. She said she deletes things so it does not make me mad. She also told me she is not attracted to him at all just want to talk to someone. I am not sure if he feels the same way? Could it just be that I am just jealous and there is nothing going on?

 

[KellyC]

There is a such thing as emotional affairs!
If she has been spending more time talking to him, or figuring out how to talk to him she is basicly cheating on you time wise and emotionally.

If you believe she could be cheating on you- come right out and ask her! Nothing works better than communication period.

If you feel you cannot trust her answer because of her past honesty record then maybe you guys shouldnt even be married at all? Because when you dont have trust you have absolutely nothing!

I would ask her yourself, if she replies no- and you believe her- let her know you have been feeling a little neglected. Other wise you will just fester- and fester get more and more angry etc.

Then you could say or do something you regret- dont work yourslef into a psychotic friendzy by playing a psychic or asking questions of what do you think? Is she cheating? Then base your answer on what a bunch of trouble makers on yahoo answers are telling you!

Truth is- we dont know nor do you unless you hire a detective, or be smart, and read into the information she is giving you-credit card bills, times, her work schedule etc.

You may as well get a ouiji board and ask is she cheating on me?
You will never know unless you take the time and strength to find out on your own.

 

[Brooke]

I was in a similar situation. I had a male friend at work and we would talk and text and email each other about all kinds of things. He would tell me I looked nice and I would tell him I liked his suit, and stuff like that. That was it. He would, occasionally, talk to me about personal issues dealing with his relationship to get the input of a female. He was nothing more than a friend.

Then, my crazy ex husband started reading MY emails and checking MY phone logs. He started acting like a crazy paranoid psycho. He even got so suspicious that he called and cursed his own uncle because his number was on my caller ID and he didn't realize who it was. By the way, I had been talking to his aunt and she was using his uncle's phone.

I eventually stopped being friends with the guy and my ex continued to accuse me of doing something I had never even thought of. I got fed up and slowly grew to hate him. Then, just out of the blue, after my ex had broken me down so much because of his insecurities, a guy hit on me and I cheated. Keep in mind, it wasn't my friend. Just a random guy that I was acquainted with. I figured, I was already getting accused of it, might as well do it.

I left my hubby a year after he found out. I am now remarried and have never even thought of cheating. My hubby trusts me and my best friend is a guy.

 

[LindaLoo]

I think you are wise to worry & question this. Perhaps she isn't being unfaithful now, or yet, or maybe never but she is NOT being appropriate since she is a married women and he is a single man. This is HOW infidelity starts even if no one EVER thinks it can or will EVER happen to them - it is the blind, stupid and unwise who fail to face the reality of that possibility.

Either she is completely an OPEN BOOK about all her chats, emails and texts with him or SHE can't be trusted. If she wants to spend time with this "GUY" then it needs to be only in YOUR company too and maybe if HE has a date as well. Otherwise it is WRONG, unwise, in appropriate and it is NOT WRONG for you to put an END TO IT sooner than later!

 

[AliL]

Unless the guy is gay then I would worry. I had an old friend that sent me an im a while back. I replied to be nice, told him I was married and all the normal talk. Within the next three days he was already trying to talk me into going and seeing him. I hate to say it but most normal straight guys can't seem to just be friends. I care about my husband and our relationship enough to "delete" this guy from my life, and so should your wife.

 

[Luis]

Oh my dear pal,your Conscious or spidey sences are tingling so LISTEN!!!!, that's not acceptable behavior from her,she is making you into a fool,if she is really squarely just friends with this guy,you better be in on that friendship or the next child you have may not be yours.

 

[mebo]

If she wants to talk to someone she should be talking to you. When a someone prefers to confide in someone other than their partner it's an emotional affair my friend.

People with nothing to hide don't (she's deleting the evidence).

 

[jramy.kiki]

she is hiding it from you which means that there is defintitely something to hide yeah that is cheating

 

[MR.GPH]

He is a ,man ! if nothing is going on now soon or later it will be,when you and her start figthing about this situation you better watch out !!

 

[LiL Mrs. CrAnKy PaNtS]

Tough call. I think maybe she is telling you the truth on this one. I think she might just enjoy talking to him. Although it could still mean something with you and her is missing.

So there is still a potential danger lurking. But honestly no one should email anyone in secrecy. But am guilty of it myself.