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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? 1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to...

There's a Russian, a Cuban, a Mexican, and an American in a boat lost at sea. The Russian gets this great idea, he takes out a bottle, drinks a swig, and tosses it into the ocean. The Cuban looks at the Russian, scratches his head, and asks: "Why did you throw that into the water?" The...